Changing Times

I’m not going to pretend to know how to cope with change. However, as a mom of three kiddos, the only thing not changing in our lives is the fact that everything is constantly changing. And that’s okay, let me explain.

Just the other day, Matt and I were discussing just how much growing up our big boys had accomplished in the last year. Jackson, our oldest, just graduated VPK, and Hudson will be moving to VPK next year. We reminisced on the sweetest memories, like the way our boys used to pronounce certain words. Our favorite phrase was when Jackson would use the word “Osally” for “also” and “actually.” It was just adorable! Of course, VPK knocked that right out of him and now he’s a grown-up boy who says “actually” and “also.” To be honest about it, I have mixed emotions of sadness and pride, but regardless of my feelings I’ll always remember that sweet little phrase he said so matter-of-factly. Naturally, all of these thoughts are taking up headspace because Jackson just graduated from VPK this year. My mommy heart has felt so many emotions over the last few weeks as we’ve prepared and celebrated with class parties, teacher gifts, and more. The end of the year is a wonderful and exhausting part of the year as a parent with the events, the gifts, the outfits, and the graduation preparation. Each moments and task is totally worth the extra effort, for sure, but processing the events as my child leaves his preschool and moves to another school means there are BIG changes coming.

How do we cope with change?

For starters, change is hard. Whether the things that have changed are in or out of our control really doesn’t matter. However, what does matter is how we handle that change. What do we meet this new season of life with?

• Fear
• Excitement
• Anxiousness
• Hope
• Sadness

The list could go on, but just the short list above is a rollercoaster of emotions. Fear, anxiousness, and sadness are equally as important to process during seasons of change as excitement and hope. I truly feel that as parents, we are always experiencing some combination of these feelings as we watch our little ones grow up. So the question is, how do we feel these emotions and not get swallowed up in them?

As we’ve learned, the bible actually has the answers and many new testament books discuss most of these emotions and provide comforting words to help us. However, the first chapter and verses that popped into my mind for “change” was Ecclesiastes 3. Just to give a little back story, there’s a 100% chance that my dad taught me this bible verse from the Turn! Turn! Turn! song by The Byrds. Funny enough, this song doesn’t just reference it, the song lyrics are the actual bible verses. It says;

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 – 11 NIV

I interpret this message from Solomon* in this way: our life “under the heavens” ebbs and flows through good and bad, chaos and contentment, the highs and lows. There’s a place for all of the feelings in this life we are living “under the sun.” The lyric above may leave you with conflicted feelings. Why can’t we just have healing, laughing, dancing, and peace all the time? But consider this, what does the good really mean without it’s counterpart? How can we appreciate the good without knowing the bad as well? The message goes on to say that “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Life is about the time you have not the fact that your circumstances have changed. Change is inevitable because God made us to experience all things while we are living this Earthly life.

The boys have been home with me while I work full time for 4 weeks (I’m not counting or anything) this summer. We’ve had to create new routines, develop better habits, and create opportunities for individual play. It’s been a challenge for sure. I pray that they will remember this summer as a good one! I find comfort each day in spending a few minutes reminding myself that this is a very temporary season for our family right now. We may struggle a bit with the lack of structure, but a lack of structure means more imaginative play, more creativity, and more freedom for my boys to grow and learn about new things that bring them joy. And guess what? I get to be part of it. So with a little perspective and a daily reminder that there’s a season for everything under the sun we can make it through any change, big or small.